Spring is in the Air and in the Old Folks

Despite being the first day of spring I woke up this morning to snow flurries grrrr. I am ready for some nice weather, this winter-although not too horrible- has seemed to drag on forever.

Today I was scheduled to be in the surgical clinic and it turned out to be a pretty good day. I got to do an Incision and Drainage of a pretty nasty abscess, but taking the prize today....

I saw an interesting man with an even more interesting hernia. The patient was a 72 year old male who came in for evaluation of a suspected hernia. I began asking him a bunch of questions and somewhere during my little interview he told me he is remarried and has 2 children with his new wife. I must have had my "big fat hairy deal" face on because he seemed to be waiting for some sort of reaction, after a few seconds he then proceeded to tell me their ages [drum roll please]...............4 and 3. Years. Holy Tony Randall, Batman! I could feel my facial expression change into my "you've gotta be shitting me!!" face but I couldn't help myself. Apparently, his hernia has not affected the Michael Phelps-ian ability his own 'little swimmers'.

For some reason all I could hear in my head was the haunting, "VIVA....... VI...AGRA" song playing over and over!(it's a curse.) He then dropped this little pearl in my lap:

"I don't go to the gym, I go to the bedroom!"

Now all my head could do was hear a Budweiser Real Men of Genius commercial playing:

Here's to you, Mr. Getting it on and cranking out kids as a septuagenarian......While other guys your age are trying to shoot pool with a rope, you're long, strong, and built to get the friction on!

I dont think I heard much of what he said for the next several minutes, as I was still composing the Budweiser comercial in my head. (Im telling you, it is a curse!) I finally got around to the physical exam and I was equally impressed by the size of his hernia! It was, in medical parlance, Friggin HUGE!

After a few more questions I discovered that he forgot to mention that he had had a CT scan done recently, so I excused myself and went to talk to my attending. I pulled up the CT scan and lo and behold: a whopping hernia. Only this hernia contained a goodly part of his bladder that was hanging out of his abdominal wall. Impressive! He is scheduled for surgery that will invole a Urology surgeon as well as a general surgeon to repair this.

So, godspeed, Mr-Works-out-in-the-bedroom-at-the-age-of-72! I hope the recovery doesn't hamper your um.........ahem... 'exercise'!