If I keep taking this class I'll go blind...

So, today was our first exam of the semester. We had a Medical Psychology test and well.... While the class is interesting, I have developed a groundbreaking technique to doing well on the exams. I hope any lower semester students reading this will head my advice: Simply choose the most flowery sounding, after school special like, non-natural response as an answer.

Perhaps an example (try my method and see for yourself):

Q. An obviously disheveled, middle aged man with a swastika tattoo on is forehead bursts through the door of your primary care office carrying a blood stained double headed axe over his left shoulder. He has a wild look in his eye and what appears to be remnants of a Reuben sandwich down the front of his threadbare flannel shirt. He says to you "So you're the F*&#ing doctor huh?" The most appropriate response to this patient should be which of the following:

1. Immediately dial 911 and start praying
2. Open your desk drawer, remove your firearm, and equilibrate his interthoracic pressure with that of the atmosphere with extreme prejudice.
3. Tell th patient with an authoritative voice, "Sir, put down that axe at once!" and then schedule a CT and toxicology screen to rule out medical causes of his behavior.
4. Say in an empathetic voice,"I can see you are upset. This must be hard for you. Are there any problems in your life you would like to discuss with me today?"

The "right" answer is #4. Without any knowledge of Psychology, you can arrive at the right answer using my technique!

This is why I have determined that Medical Psychology is the equivalent of ACADEMIC MASTURBATION- it may make people feel good temporarily but it wont get you anywhere.

No disrespect to Psychologists (but then again they would just attribute this to my anti-social personality disorder and really wouldn't blame me )

Next up is our first Pharmacology exam and it is touted to be fairly tough so I will get back to studying. (for those non psychologists reading this this is a clear example of self-delusion)