Reason # 347 Why I Know I'm Getting Old

Up until a year ago, Kaitlyn was my youngest baby. Today, she graduates form the 8th grade and will become an "Oh my god dad, you are so not cool" High School Girl, just like her big sister, Meagan. Joy of Joys ;)


Congratulations baby, we are all very proud of you! 8 down, 8 more to go (Before Graduate School, Wink!)

Female Genetics- Secrets Unlocked!

Since I don't have to report to the hospital until Wednesday afternoon, I decided to steal away and head home to spend some time with the family. An excited Rileigh and I were playing with one of her favorite toys, a series of plastic semi-circular blocks that interlock to form balls or stack to form a pyramid. Rileigh, and the balls in question are pictured below:


I was rolling one of the ad-hoc balls back and forth with her, when she suddenly grabbed the ball and pulled the blocks apart. I exclaimed, in my most unmanly of Dad voices, "uh-oh! you broke the ball". My mind, being my mind and all, I immediately cast a sideways glance at my wife who was sitting on the couch and said, "I know where she gets that gene!"

Surprisingly she giggled almost as hard as I did.

Abbas Dies

To everyone out there who has changed countless diapers, bandaged skinned knees, and knows the all the words to more nursery rhymes and kids' songs than he is comfortable admitting:

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

My own brood will be joining me here in Brooklyn for the day- I can't wait.

Biting the Hand that Feeds Me***

Well fuck me with a fireplug, Frances!

I would like to immediately revise my heretofore atheistic world view and run, tail firmly lodged betwixt my cowering legs, to the sweet sanctuary of His Eternal Forgiveness. Even an old Paramedic can be wrong.

You see, I am certain the world is .....just...................about..................................done!

I have just read an advertisement for Slentrol.

In this day and age (when I was young we only had 3 channels and we LIKED it myeaa) it isn't exceptionally newsworthy that we be inundated with advertisements for many a wonder drug. Restless legs? Not a problem, we got a pill. Fibromyalgia? Not a problem, we got a pill. Can't get it up? Not a problem, we got a pill. Got PMS? Not a problem, we got a pill. Name a problem and the answer is inevitably the same, Not a problem, we got a pill.

But kind readers, this, this is a sign of the impending just desserts for our wickedness. Of this, I am certain!

Slentrol isn't a little pill designed to cure any particular problem you or I may actually have. In fact it is not for any member of Homo sapiens at all! (even if he has great insurance!)

Slentrol is formulated for the canine among us who are portly, husky, pleasantly-plump, undertall, ovewweight, big-boned, or despite how many crash diets, ab machines, or $9.95 videos he watches, [Fido] just can seem to loose those vertical love handles. Yes, Virginia, Slentrol is a DOGGONE DOGGIE DIET PILL.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Color me confused, but last I checked, Canis lupus familiaris hasn't evolved opposable thumbs, the ability to order in Chinese, or the cerebellar function to wrangle, even the smallest of sub-compacts, through the McDonalds drive-thru lane! Should Spot be a tad on the voluminous side, one would be best served to point the accusing finger paw at the hmm......I don't know....OWNER!

Can I get a WHISKEY TANGO FOXY FOXY FOXTROT up in here??

I couldn't even make this shit up check out the link for yourselves! ( I'll be brushing up on my Omnipotent Sky Daddy ass-kissing)

*** With all due respect, Big Pharma ;-)

EDIT: My FAVORITE PART OF THE AD: "Sentrol must never be used in cats"...I suppose those body-image absorbed felines are already prone to bulimia, with their constant purging and all ;-)

2 Quickies

After attending the weekly conference yesterday and then working the overnight shift, I am a bit tired this morning and this will be a quick post.

2 stories caught my eye from the Oddly Enough file over at Reuters.

1. A jury of my peers indeed! A protracted drug charges trial that cost the fine taxpayers of Australia nearly a cool million dollars had to be stopped and a new jury will have to be seated and the trial started all over. Why? A number of the jurors were discovered fervently doing Sudoku puzzles whilst evidence was being presented. That "exhibit A, exhibit B, whole truth, nothing but the truth thing" is sooooooo boring! Way to go guys!

2. I have a confession to make! It seems a coupe in Rome decided that after a night spent drinking that they were in the mood for a little amore . In an effort to spice things up they thought a change of venue would do the trick. Where in god's name did they choose to unleash their lusty passions? Yep, that's right, in a church...in the confessional.......during morning mass! They were discovered (no word on how, I'm guessing it was the "AVE AVE AVE AVE MARIA's" wink) and police charged them with violating obscenity laws et al. The couple has apparently asked forgiveness from the bishop and in a very Catholic manner, befitting only the most magnanimous of inquisitors, he has forgiven the couple and held a "reparation mass" to scour the "sacrilege" from the church. (I prefer a good disinfectant spray myself, but what do I know about churches?)

Now we all know how easy it would be for me to make a BUNCH of really bad jokes here; and I have written and deleted several. (actually, I wrote a Top 10 Reasons To Do It In A Confessional list- a la David Letterman) But I will resist the giggling 6th grader in me, and just take the high road here.

The comments section is wide open.

Be creative. Have some fun, mortal soul, schmortal soul!

Oh, But I Am Worthy !

I must admit, this is not the first time that I have had this wonderful offering from the Stone Brewing Company. I'm just a sucker for gargoyles, I guess!

I will spare you my long review; suffice it to say:

Daddy Likey!

(I assure you, this has NOTHING to do with the 7.2% Alc Vol.)

It is almost as if Dionysus herself gently pressed her immortal lips upon the bottle and kissed the hop-laden wort into an epicurean, orgasm-inducing, elixir of citrus and malt-infused goodness- with the bitterness of a civil service employee. This brew certainly has every reason to be arrogant!

(What is it about booze reviews that makes me want to sing show tunes?)

I almost considered disabling comments for this post, because ... yeah ... it's just too easy!

But, go ahead hit me with your best shot!

Walking in Circles.....For a Good Cause

Last Friday was the American Cancer Society Relay For Life event at Meagan's High School.

We are really proud of her. She did a wonderful job as Nazi Team Captain. According to many of her team members, she was quite the little control freak organizing and motivating dynamo; and her team raised just under $1,700.00 *, with Meagan getting $515.00 of those donations. The entire event raised almost $170,000.00!

A Big Thank You to all of you who donated!

Some of the Team:



The Nazi and the horribly sleep-deprived old man:



* Mein Fuerher informs me it was ACTUALLY 2300 Deutchmark Dollars!

Bo Diddley 1929-2008

One of the original founders of Rock 'n' Roll is dead today at age 79. Not only was he a pioneer in early rock but he designed his own guitars and even popularized his own signature beat! The famed Bo Diddley beat is featured in many many songs by various artists over the last 50 or so years. Some examples include: Buddy Holly's: Not fade away, Johnny Otis's Willie and the hand jive, and George Thorogood's: Who do you love?

Here is Bo playing a custom guitar against his famed syncopated rhythm:



So put on your favorite version of Willie and the Hand Jive (there are some great ones- Johnny Otis, Eric Clapton, The Greatful Dead, The Clash, Taj Mahal to name a few) turn it up way loud, hoist your glasses, and have one to the memory of a legend.

Lasciate Ogne Somina, Voi Ch'intrate

For those of you whose conversational Latin is a bit rusty, This post's title is stolen from the famous phrase posted at the Gates of Hell in Dante's Divine Comedy. My slightly altered version translates to:

Abandon all sleep, ye who enter.

This is a fitting admonishment to all medical students about to start clinical rotations.

As first days go, mine wasn't too horrible, although it began at the barbaric hour of 0600. (Actually this will seem like sleeping-in from now on, since I didn't have to report today until 9am but tomorrow I have to be there by 0700! ) After discovering a short-cut of sorts to the bus stop, the walk this morning in the light rain was only a few minutes. Now I don't necessarily agree with all of Mayor Bloomberg's politics, but he must have taken a page out of old Il Duce's handbook because my bus was at the stop at the scheduled time and the trip took almost exactly as long as advertised, 45 minutes. So far so good. I ran into several AUC students and I actually wound up in the same group as a Nick, a classmate, so I will have a buddy to commiserate with for this 6 week rotation.

The orientation at Wyckoff was closer to a series of Chinese fire drills than any kind of organized affair. It began with cramming what seemed to be well over 100 students into a conference room with seats for only roughly half that number. Later there was a bunch of standing around and waiting, gnashing of teeth, and several venue changes (I counted 4) but once we finally broke up into our respective services, things went pretty smoothly.

Family Medicine seems to be a pretty good 1st rotation from what I can tell so far. It is sort of like Internal Medicine -"lite" since the rotation is only 6 weeks vs 12 and the hours are much better. You get to see a little of this and a little of that and even some outpatient clinic stuff to get your feet wet. The Doctor-to-student ratio is much lower and it seems this is a great time to brush up on your physical exam skills and note writing while you have more face time with the docs.

Schedule-wise, I am starting out with 2 weeks in-hospital 7a-7p, then 2 weeks of nights : 7p-7a but the pretty cool thing is that nights are only every other day for instance go in Monday 7p-7a finishing up Tuesday morning, you are not due to come back in until Wednesday night. Pretty nice! Speaking of Wednesdays, there is mandatory conferences every Wednesday from 2pm-5pm. After the 2 weeks of nights I will finish up with 2 weeks of out-patient clinic which is only either 8am-1pm or 1pm-6pm so not too bad there either. Generally speaking, the in-hospital rotations will be 6 day-a-week affairs with the senior resident determining which students will cover Saturday and which ones will do Sunday. My plans of coming home Every weekend are going to be "altered" a bit. I will request tomorrow that I be put on for this Sunday so I can go home and be a chaperon at the Relay for Life event that Meagan is captaining a team for. The hours are from Friday at Midnight until either 5am or 7am! She really loves her daddy!

Hopefully I will be able to get back to Philly for some time the 2 weeks I am on nights and the 2 weeks of out-patient. I may only wind up staying here for 1, maybe 2 weekends- I guess we will have to see.

Tomorrow they will actually let me play with patients, yay!

Oh, I almost forgot, I may actually have a roommate now after all. Yesterday afternoon he showed up. He is French and a student at UCLA out here doing an internship for the summer. We only spoke briefly as he had paid for a hotel room in Manhattan for a couple nights prior to getting the last-minute room opening here; so he dropped off some suitcases and headed back to a very expensive, albeit infinitely more comfortable, hotel room. As of this evening his bags are still here and, as far as I can tell, he hasn't been here and unpacked anything, so we will see how long this one lasts hahaha.

A Walk in the Park / The Bridge to Metropolis

To say that my sleep last night was not restful would be the understatement of the year! It seemed that I woke up every hour- tossing and turning. I am convinced that the draconian piece of torture, that passes for a bed here, was actually designed by the Catholic Church during their whimsical "Inquisition" period. A few nights on this thing and I certainly would have confessed to just about anything. Hopefully some of my insomnia is related to being in a strange place (and even stranger bed) and I will settle in and enjoy some quality sleep soon.

This morning my back felt as though a team of Clydesdales had spent the evening practicing Riverdance moves on my lumbar spine. So in an effort to work out some of those kinks and enjoy the glorious weather, I went out and explored the Brooklyn Scenery.

I walked around a couple of local parks and decided to walk across the Brooklyn Bridge into Manhattan and back. Here are some pictures: (as usual-click on any picture to enlarge)

Since it is Memorial Day:







A perfect day at the park:








The Brooklyn Bridge:











Lady Liberty as seen from the Brooklyn Bridge:






The Empire State Building as seen from the bridge: