Thursday, December 18, 2008

Requiem Diablo






I never considered myself a 'cat person'. I always fancied myself more of a dog type. Dogs after all, were loyal and friendly could be trained to do a great many things. I grew up with dogs, There was a German Shepard at my side from as long as I could remember until I left home. Ever present companions, watchful protectors, and eager playmates, dogs are wonderful Yes sir, I was a dog man!

Cats, on the other hand, are aloof and distant. Cold, calculating creatures that have a need for human companionship that goes only as far as purveyors of their next meal-truly predators at heart; unloving and not capable of the same kind of interspecies bonds that canines make so easily. This is what I used to think anyway, until we got Diablo.

"He's the runt of the litter", my wife said as we looked over the group of kittens. "Yes, that's exactly why we should get him!" I replied, a perpetual fan of the underdog. A few minutes later we were escorting a tiny orange ball of tail-sucking fur back to our home, and into our hearts.

Thus began our relationship with one orange, short-haired member of the species, Felis catus domestica, or as we named him, Diablo. I always say that Diablo thinks he's a dog. He follows me around, comes when I call him, and is always more interested in what I am doing, than any typical 'feline pursuits'. He is sometimes annoying, usually mischievous, and always loveable. Diablo is the perfect companion.

At least he was, until today.

He died today.

Last night I noticed he was a bit lethargic but chalked it up to his 18 hour-a-day sleep habit. Today he began having trouble breathing and started meyowing loudly. This was unusual for him as he is typically a very silent cat. I took him to the animal hospital this afternoon, and while we were in the examination room I somehow knew this was to be his last day. He lay limp on the table staring at me with blank eyes. This was not good. Eyes that were so typically alive, curious, and ful of spunk just stared out devoid of all personality. 3 hours later he was gone. The vet said it was an acute onset of congestiver heart failure- precipitated by who knows what? None of that seems to matter right now.

I miss my little buddy.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Weekend Update

This past weekend began with taking 2 shelf exams. Shelf exams are subject specific tests that our school requires us to take at the end of every rotation. This time I took the Psychiatry and Internal Medicine Exams. Each test consisted of 100 'retired' questions from the USMLE that seem to have to been written by a team of sadists well versed in irrelevant facts, esoteric terminology, and psychological warfare. At the end of the 2 tests, I felt as if I had underwent the equivalent of metal water-boarding of a quality that would make Donny Rumsfeld proud. Hopefully I weathered the storm; I'll find out in a couple weeks.

Things took a turn for the better when a whole gaggle of us headed into Manhatan for some post-test libations, as is the custom. The evening ended at a Karaoke bar on the upper east side called Iggy's Rock and Roll. This place is more fun than a barrell of drunken monkeys. It boasts a 98' long bar, reasonably priced drinks (for Manhatan) and non-stop Karaoke-palooza! Yours truly graced the crowd with a, dare I say, rockin' rendition of Journey's power ballad, Faithfully My performance was met by quite an enthusiastic reception from the teeming masses and even prompted a "Holy shit dude, you naaaiiled it!" from
friend and fellow student, Jersey Pete. (delivered at the signature 110 decibles and with that "Fuhgeddaboudit" Jersey accent) A great time was had by all!

Sunday, Kathy and I decided to take Rileigh to Manhatan to do a little Christmas time sightseeing. We met up with Jersey Pete and Grace-who was in from LA to take a couple of the afformentioned exams. We went to Rockerfeller Center and saw the Christmas tree, did some window shopping and ate lunch. When it got dark we took a walk down to Times Square and confirmed that Rileigh is not prone to Seizures- all the blinking lights and crowds were very exciting to her, at least until she passed out asleep. Below are some pictures taken in the afternoon. Sadly my camera's battery died before it got dark.




Jersy Pete and Grace:




Saturday, December 6, 2008

Star of Death


This tragic story in yesterday's Washington Post.

A brief summary:

A 39 year old man who was having chest pain and shortness of breath had complete resolution of his symptoms after about 6 hours. The bad news is that the symptoms went away right along with that nagging heartbeat he had.

This man was never seen at a hospital, because a paramedic somehow convinced him he would be better served taking Pepto-Bismol for what they said was "probably reflux", instead of transporting him to a hospital for further evaluation.

6 hours later he was dead. At home.

The article states that EMS "checked his vital signs and performed an electrocardiogram, the results of which they said were normal."

There are at least a couple dozen potential diagnoses that can present with shortness of breath or chest pain or both. Some are life threatening some are not. But I do not remember the part of my paramedic training where the taking of vitals and a "normal" EKG precluded you from a trip to see the smiling face of your local emergency room physician.

The article also reports that the medical examiner will conduct an autopsy to determine the cause of death. I could save the county a few bucks and the medical examiner some time. Cause of death: Incompetence.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Crap I have Done...

This is bouncing all around the intertubes and makes for an easy mindless post. Perfect.


Things I’ve done are in bold.

1. Started your own blog- (duh)
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower ( I'm into cosmic voyeurism and astro-porn; wathcing a meteor take a shower... HOT!)
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland (Dineyworld)
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris (only connected there...a lovely airport)
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty (it was closed when we visited)
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France (The Mona Lisa in France?.. is that a foreign film?)
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (think they mean Philadelphia?...or in the strict sense- Africa?)
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language (Computer languages count!)
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke (I'm currently looking to start a Back Street Boys Tribute band ) ;-)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance ( I was working in it.. but it counts)
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason (being wonderful isn't a reason??)
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter (does bouncing a check that pays for the helicopter earn bonus points?)
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury (that is just mean..what did the poor jurors do to deserve being sat on?)
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby (well not me personally)
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Holiday Shopping Fun

In case you find yourself shopping at the gates of hell this holiday season, you should at least have a little fun with it: (click to enlarge)


It shouldn't take more than a few minutes to cover the entire card.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Practical Advice

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Outsourcing Surgery?


While surfing around on the intratubes I came across this article from last week's New York Times.

It seems that insurance companies are taking a page out of manufacturing's playbook and attempting to outsource certain ....surgeries!

Need a knee replacement? No problem. They[insurance company] will fly you (and a companion) to India you will be operated on by "internationally accredited surgeons" this outsourcing package comes complete with meals, and is provided to you at no cost at all . Zero copay. "Free", if you will. The insurance company can foot the bill for this whole mess and still pay a fraction of the cost of the same procedure done in the United States.

Sweet tap-dancing Jesus!

While I do not think there are going to be lines forming any time soon to fly to India to get medical care (or much else for that matter), it is an interesting development in the whole health care issue.

I wonder what sweeping effect we will see if other insurers start to follow suit- this has the potential to shake up the entire industry.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Unbeluckingfievable!


Never underestimate the stupidity of people in groups!

Just in case you had any doubts about WalMart serving as the gates to hell... or the fact that we are just a couple discounts away from reverting to base depravity....

This story (hat tip to Lou)

I hope they track down and charge every one of those mouth-breathing, scumbag assholes with murder!

Exactly which, piece-o-shit-made-in-China-will-be-broke-or-thrown-away-before-baseball-season-comes-around-and-won't-even-be-appreciated-bit-of-garbage was on sale at such a low price, that it was worth trampling a man to DEATH to make sure you got one?

Today I hate people.

Career in medicine...yeah, great thinking on my part!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Sometimes No Means NO!


A 20 year old man is recovering from injuries sustained when he was attacked by a giant panda in China this past Monday. The man, a 20 year old student named Liu, said he jumped over the fence at the zoo because "Yangyang [the panda] was so cute, I just wanted to cuddle him."

Yangyang apparently: (pick one)

A) had a headache
B) metabolizes Roofies much faster than humans
C) is just not into dudes
D) likes it a little rough and kinky

or

E) is a fraking wild animal who, despite the sultry Come Hither look doesn't enjoy being molested by humans

Because Yangyang( which, incidentally, is Chinese for "Don't cuddle me, asshole") attacked his amorous intruder by biting him about the legs and arms until poor Liu was rescued by zookeepers.

Sheep at the zoo reportedly began laughing and cheering upon hearing what happened, and several of them are now wearing t-shirts in support of the panda.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

46 XY !!!!!!!


We got the results of Kathy's amniocentesis yesterday and I am more than a little relieved and excited that this child, to quote The Godfather,

"...will be a masculine child"

My daughters are wonderful, don't get me wrong; but after years of drowning in a sea of estrogen, it will be nice to add some more man-ness 'round here.

Speaking of manliness, Tuesday night my son John surprised me by dropping by and we were able to head out to a cool little bar for some quality father and son time. (there was trivia playing and karaoke involved too!)

Girls are wonderful, but only a son would endure his father signing karaoke!

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Plumage Don't Enter Into It!

It seems there is nothing new under the sun after all!

The classic Monty Python skit Dead Parrot was actually preceded by a similar bit done by the Greeks some 1600 years ago, according to a 4th century joke book. Read full story here.

For the uninitiated:





Great stuff!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Psychiatry Week 1

Psychiatry.

I was actually looking forward to this rotation- mostly because I wanted to be finished with Internal Medicine (also known as Eternal Medicine). Although the first week isn't over until tomorrow, so far so good. The hours are much better, the call schedule is very light and as an added bonus: there is virtually non-stop amusement.

Now before you think ill of me and accuse me of having an over developed Schadenfreude Center in my brain, it's not that I delight in the maladies of others, it's just that... well... they are so damned entertaining sometimes!

This week alone for instance:

  • I spoke with a man who has only a passing familiarity with reality and reports having a chip in his tooth (by chip he means "device") that not only hears every thing that is said around him but receives high pitched noise through it. He has tried- unsuccessfully- to remove said chip; but in his defense, I suppose he wants to be as ginger as possible since it is in one of the last 3 teeth he has left.

  • I was accosted outside the hospital by an elderly Polish-only speaking woman who was yelling at me through what appeared to be only a triplet of teeth as well (note to self: check Fluoridation policy of NYC) and who was given to wild gesticulating and grabbing at her crotch. Upon further communication it became clear she wanted directions to the subway! (note to self #2: I have GOT to learn Polish, where apparently grabbing at one's LadyBidness translates roughly into: Pardon me goodly sir, canst thou point me to the nearest train depot?)

  • And rounding up the pack there are my fellow students. Among the great constants of the universe, it seems that for any collection of medical students, where N>8, there must be at least one among the group who is so full of pathology, so devoid of the slightest remnant of social skills, and so devoid of insight, that it borders on the absurd. This rotation does not fail to disappoint in that regard. Exactly 3 seconds after making initial eye contact with one particular fellow student, I was harangued by this poor soul who obviously hails from a planet country where disclosing your name, rank, serial number, entire academic accomplishments, political views, career aspirations, turn-ons, what you plan on naming your unborn children, favorite color, shoe size, and blood type (in a single breath and delivered within 2 minutes!!) is not only polite, but must be considered charming.

Never a dull moment.

Bonus Quote of the Day :

"Men will always be mad, and those who think they can cure them are the maddest of all." -Voltaire

Sunday, November 2, 2008

1050 ft. Above 5th Avenue

Since I have been a New Yorker for about 6 months now, the rules state that I must make the pilgrimage to 350 5th Avenue- otherwise known as The Empire State Building. If I did not, I would forfeit my right to use certain New York-Only words like is seen in the (absolutely real) sign below:



Given that steep penalty, I opted to pack the car up with Meagan, Kaitlyn, and Rileigh and head on into Manhattan to make my offering to the gods of Gotham.

The view from the street:



The very Art-Deco lobby:




Views from the Observation Deck (86th floor):












Another 422 feet to the top of the spire:



Full tourist gear:



Forcing a picture out of Kaitlyn:



The wind blowing my hair all around (Rileigh's too):





Tickets for The Empire State Building :
$62.00
Parking :
$26.00
3 (small) drinks at Starbucks:
$ 8.07

Getting to spend the day with
your daughters doing cheesy tourist
things (while they will still let you take them):

PRICELESS!

Halloween 2008

Although this is Rileigh's 2nd halloween, this is the first one she actually got to do the whole trick-or-treat thing. This year she was a bunny:








Venturing out for the candy-gathering:




Little Thumper is headed out:


Doctor Doolittle, I Ain't....

But- I did enjoy conversing with this goat. At the pumpkin patch, they had a petting zoo and this particular goat seemed to speak my language. He started responding to my witty repartee and we got the 3rd time on camera here:

If you have never seen a grown man "talking" to a goat at the petting zoo, well then my friends today is your lucky day....


The Great Pumpkin Patch of 2008

Last week Kathy and I took the girls to Johnson's Farm in Medford, NJ. It is a pretty cool place with lots for kids to do. They had hayrides, pumpkin patches, a petting zoo (without the petting), a playground, and assorted autumnal fun-type stuff. It was a pretty good way to spend a fall afternoon and not at all expensive.


Johnson's Farm:




A sea of Pumpkins:



Rileigh picks her first pumpkin:




And then her second:




Meagan and Kaitlyn displaying their selections:



One of the highlights of the day was this simple slide:





Me and a very friendly (and quite plastic ) cow:




Meagan gets all "artistic" with the camera:



Catching up on Bolg Duties

Once again it seems I have neglected my blog responsibilities and my daughters tell me they are about to disown me for not blogging. So here goes. First some pictures from the girls' homecoming dance:

Kaitlyn and her friend Janie:



Meagan and her friend Katie:



This kid had to buy A LOT of corsages!



Kaitlyn and the girls:

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Public Service Announcement

Well, I am certain now that the 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse are not only mounted-up but are trotting around ready to make their final charge...

In a study conducted by a Dr. Matlock at the University of Illinois College of Medicine at Peoria, it seems that doing CPR while mentally keeping rhythm with ...ahem, the 1977 hit by the Bee Gees "Stayin' Alive" will keep you on track with the recommended 100 compressions per min.

While the irony of a song titled "Stayin' Alive" is not lost on me, any song with about 100 beats/min will do. I used to like sing Culture Club's "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?" in my head while doing CPR (but that is an entire post unto itself I guess...)

Other examples are: Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust" (quite fitting, though I suppose a tad pessimistic) and a personal favorite, Warren Zevon's classic, "Werewolves of London".

Pick a song and use it the next time you find yourself doing CPR. It will keep you on track; but whatever you do, do not, I repeat, DO NOT sing out loud!

For those of you who have forgotten the song:




Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, stayin alive, stayin alive


Where the red is your cue to compress.

I predict this song will be stuck in your head for a t least a few hours....You're Welcome ;-)

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Subways and Rabbits and Bears..Oh My!

Today we decided to venture into Manhattan to visit the Central Park Zoo. Quite the ambitious undertaking considering we traveled by subway with Rileigh. Imagine trying to contain a small nuclear explosion in your arms. Although she seemed afraid of the noisy train at first, she was soon at home and making friends with the muggers, psychopaths, homeless, and tourists on the subway. Shy she is not.





The Central Park Zoo is not very big at all- as a matter of fact I was surprised how small it was. But at only 8 dollars to get in, it was not a bad deal at all. It works out just fine since they happen to have a children's zoo and her attention span doesn't do so well with a bigger place.

As is usually the case with most kids, the petting zoo was her favorite part.







Also enjoyed were a pair of polar bears:



and one seriously LARGE rabbit:



All in all, a pretty decent way to spend a fall day in New York.



Next week we are headed to Delran, NJ (GO BEARS) where it will be homecoming weekend for Meagan and Kaitlyn. A full weekend's worth of festivities are planned including a parade and football game. Stay Tuned!

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