Monday, May 7, 2007

The National Foundation for What

My lovely wife Kathy is 8 months pregnant and is due in early June. Many of you already know my wife is suffering from a temporary, albeit horrible condition known as Placenta Brain. This is a tragic, and I am told not so uncommon condition, that renders her short term memory ...frankly ..nonexistent. Personality changes are also seen by many in this tragic disease.


We have conversations that only minutes later she doesn't remember (she staunchly defends this point of view). While straightening up around our apartment she puts things away that now I have filed as having the same fate as Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart, and the Dodo bird. Another wonderful trait she has developed during her pregnancy is a bellicose nature that Genghis Khan would envy! Whenever I say things like, "Good morning honey" or "Where is my [insert object here]" if you are very quiet you can just make out Michal Buffer's voice in the background saying :"Let's get ready to rummmmmble".

Needless to say, I anxiously await the birth of our child. I miss my normally intelligent and affable wife. In the meantime, I am actively seeking a celebrity spokesperson to head up my new charity: F.A.M.W.B.M.I.A.A.D.P

Fathers Against Mothers Who Become Mentally Impaired And Abusive During Pregnancy

Perhaps I'll work on the name a bit.

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Major symptoms of this disease are that YOU are wrong about everything and YOU are the blame for everything from the Hindenburg to Global Warming.

John

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