Scotch Whisky Makes You Taller!

No, no it doesn't. But one can hope.

In preparation for my winning of the Powerball drawing this upcoming Wednesday, I have splurged and treated myself to a nice bottle of scotch. What follows is a brief review of a scotch I first tried a few years ago but as a result of my premature onset dementia, had forgotten if I liked or not. I keep promising myself to keep a notebook of things I need to remember, but keep forgetting this as well. You know what they say, memory is the second thing to go.*

Anyway, on to the review. This particular bottle is made by The Balvenie distillery in Banfshire, Scotland. It is a 12 year old single malt with the unique characteristic of being aged in 2 different wooden casks. First it matures in a traditional oak whiskey barrel and then is transferred to a Spanish oak cask which previously held Sherry. I picked it up for about $44.00 on sale in the People's Republic of Jersey.

If you have ever read a real review of scotch or wine for that matter, the reviewers employ a language all their own. Since I am neither a professional reviewer, nor do I spit out what I taste, I will spare you those pretentious adjectives. What I will say is that it is good. Okay, really good.

Alright, I suppose I can be slightly more descriptive, but first...gulp...ahh, that's better; I needed to remind myself what I am reviewing. Seriously, this scotch is very very smooth. It is very gentle on the tongue and has surprisingly almost no aftertaste whatsoever, just mild warmth. In professional parlance, I suppose they would say something like not a very long finish- whatever the hell that means. It kind of smells like an obscene mixture of Log Cabin syrup and rubbing alcohol. Not that this is a bad thing, I'm just trying to paint a picture for you. Again, they would mumble something about it having a fruity and lively nose- I don't know about you but using the word "nose" in a review of something I am supposed to drink... well, suffice it to say that it doesn't conjure up wonderful imagery for me. On to taste.

On The Balvenie offical website they describe it as having:

Sweet fruit and oloroso sherry notes, layered with honey and vanilla.

I have no freaking idea what the hell a oloroso is, and don't think I ever will. They are not too far off however, on the honey and vanilla thing. I think it is more of a syrup-y taste, but okay, I'll give you honey. Vanilla is definitely something you can taste, and in my opinion, there is a hint of cinnamon there as well. That is about as descriptive as I can get without hormone replacement therapy.

This is one of the better scotches I have tried and is incredibly smooth and drinkable. Highly recommended.


I give it 8.8 out of 10 livers.


* I forget the first.