During one of my typical bouts of insomnia the other night I watched the riveting coverage by CNN of the Democratic primaries in North Carolina and Indiana. Some fun!
First of all, the mind-numbing second to second coverage was absolutely painful to watch. Despite the high tech touch-screen multi-colored maps and fancy studio, there was seldom anything new to report and so, we were left with inane commentary from a panel of political pundits that covered every possible scenario with the only notable exception of Godzilla appearing on a farm in Indiana and eating a goodly portion of the electorate.
The highlight of the program was listening to the mayor from Gary, Indiana -Rudy Clay. Things in Gary must be tough as this mayor was just about the dumbest public official I have ever heard stumble through a sentence. This is no small feat mind you we have had some great orators in politics (see: Dan Quale, G.W. Bush et al) .
Let me set the stage. North Carolina's primary results were in and Obama was declared the victor by a comfortable margin. In Indiana however, senator Clinton was enjoying a slight lead but it was close enough to need more results in order to project a winer. The results from Indiana were almost most completely in but they were waiting for results from one county in particular (Lake county) where Obama was expected to do well and this could ostensibly change the outcome of the contest. The pundits in the studio as well as the senior political correspondent started to question why this county had not submitted any results yet. Whispers of impropriety began. CNN had a video link-up with a Mayor of a town in that county and asked him why the results were not being turned in. He reported that he indeed submitted his results as did many neighboring communities and he was able to provide some insight as to who won with respect to those communities. But still, no official results from Lake county.
Around midnight or thereafter CNN was speaking to the Mayor of Gary, Indiana and asked the honorable mayor Clay what the deal was with no reporting of votes. This is where it got fun.
The mayor responded that the delay was caused by a high number of absentee ballots that needed to be manually counted- some 11,000 such ballots, an apparent record number. The CNN correspondent asked about the machine votes that are counted by computer and thus need no manual counting. Why hadn't at least these votes been turned in? The mayor, in an apparent twist on the Chewbacca Defense, simply repeated that extra time is needed to count the absentee ballots. This logical merry-go-round went on no fewer than 6 times! It was embarrassing. Poor Wolf Blitzer looked like someone kicked him in the testicles and stood mouth agape while, I can only assume, his mind wrestled with some quantum reality trying to decipher meaning in what the mayor had said.
"But what about the regular machine-counted ballots?"
"we had a record number of absentee ballots."
"Right, but what about the regular non absentee ballots?"
"As I have already said, we have had a record number of absentee ballots that need manual counting"
and so on, and so on...
This video clip starts at about the 6th time they try to ask mayor Clay what is going on. Mayor Clay was on the phone, the Mayor in the video is from a neighboring town in Lake county.
No longer an intern (The Salt Lake Tribune, 7/6/13)
10 years ago
8 Comments:
Maybe the people in Indiana were busy in the peach fields and therefor, could not count the votes. Have you thought of this possibility? Why must it be the fault of the mayor? Maybe his "computer" was broken, and somehow fell out a window....have you thought of that? There plenty of logical explanations. Do not be so quick to judge the great state of Indiana, my friend. If I remember, you might have had a trip there where some of your actions could have been put under the Vince microscope as well. And yes, he is still alive.
Ah yes, I wondered when I would be called on the carpet on this. Allow me to clarify:
1. I would never cast aspersions upon the great Hoosier state, save for the 2 different time zone ass-hattery.
2. I was pointing out the fact that my navel lint seems to have a better command of conversational English and logic than does the esteemed mayor of Gary (former murder capital of the USA by the way). To be clear: he is a fucktard idiot. I hope this clarifies any ambiguity on my part.
3. I LOVE peaches!
4. Grandpa had it coming! If the old man gets in my way again, well...let's just say you know how things are gonna go down!
Do you really have to ask about the mayor of the place where the Jackson 5 came from? Have you seen Mike?? Shouldn't you be using your powers for good? And why aren't you sleeping? Maybe you could be learning your doctor stuff.... and no, the instructions are not located at the bottom of a bottle.
Your words, they...they...cut me ...deep. I hope you are happy. I'm crying now. Tell peepaw I said hi!
Stick with Foxnews ..... problem solved :)
Fox news that bastion of impartial and balanced reporting. HEHEHEHE
It's a shame Phile just got a new mayor - we could have used someone asarticulate as this guy!
Ray M.
You have to admire the way he stays on message.
If you can do this, you too can be a successful encyclopedia salesman.
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