After attending the weekly conference yesterday and then working the overnight shift, I am a bit tired this morning and this will be a quick post.
2 stories caught my eye from the Oddly Enough file over at Reuters.
1. A jury of my peers indeed! A protracted drug charges trial that cost the fine taxpayers of Australia nearly a cool million dollars had to be stopped and a new jury will have to be seated and the trial started all over. Why? A number of the jurors were discovered fervently doing Sudoku puzzles whilst evidence was being presented. That "exhibit A, exhibit B, whole truth, nothing but the truth thing" is sooooooo boring! Way to go guys!
2. I have a confession to make! It seems a coupe in Rome decided that after a night spent drinking that they were in the mood for a little amore . In an effort to spice things up they thought a change of venue would do the trick. Where in god's name did they choose to unleash their lusty passions? Yep, that's right, in a church...in the confessional.......during morning mass! They were discovered (no word on how, I'm guessing it was the "AVE AVE AVE AVE MARIA's" wink) and police charged them with violating obscenity laws et al. The couple has apparently asked forgiveness from the bishop and in a very Catholic manner, befitting only the most magnanimous of inquisitors, he has forgiven the couple and held a "reparation mass" to scour the "sacrilege" from the church. (I prefer a good disinfectant spray myself, but what do I know about churches?)
Now we all know how easy it would be for me to make a BUNCH of really bad jokes here; and I have written and deleted several. (actually, I wrote a Top 10 Reasons To Do It In A Confessional list- a la David Letterman) But I will resist the giggling 6th grader in me, and just take the high road here.
The comments section is wide open.
Be creative. Have some fun, mortal soul, schmortal soul!
No longer an intern (The Salt Lake Tribune, 7/6/13)
10 years ago
16 Comments:
Oh, please! Give us some of your top 10 - just a few - to get us started. That was too funny!
10. Incense really make the ladies HOT!
haha! wow... playing sudoku. how exciting! i probably would hav e preffered a word search :D ;)
8.- For the first and only time in Mario's illustrious lovemaking career, when he shouted, "Che è il tuo papà?" he actually wasn't expecting to hear his own name in reply
7. I like playing charades with the priest. It's an old habit.
it's an old habit...punny!
6. It is cheaper than a hotel and we can wash up in that marble font over there in front of the statue of the hot chick dressed in white. {lighting crashes}
5. Best place for a blessed union without getting married.
And that's lightNing Lamar.
4. When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
When in Church . . .
3.-Mario: "OK Maria, I learned this from Monsignor when I was young, justa turn around and never you minda if I call you Anthony at any point, you justa keepa screamin' the AVE's"
2 1/2. 11. Our Father Who art in the confessional knocking boots . . .
2 1/4.- Mario: "Come on Maria, mood lighting, candle wax, an intimate space, what's not to love about this place? Oh look there are comic books on the floor......"
2. In some churches it is acceptable to scream out "Oh God!" over and
over.
Those aren't comic books. That's The Watchtower. I am appalled at your sacrilege.
1.5- It's 3am and you have a serious altar boy fetish to work out...where else you gonna go?
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON TO HAVE SEX IN A CONFESSIONAL IS.................
1. I thought this would be the best place to satisfy all of my 72 virgins, so I came here . . . and there . . . and there . . . 72 is an awful lot to satisfy.
1.01 Mario: My wife will NEVER find us here we're Jewish!
(credit to: a reluctant apostle)
Dr. Spock's kiddies for sure !!!
They are the center of the universe --- its all about them ---- their needs, their desires ... they must all be immediately satisfied --- regardless of how their actions impact on others .... their fellow humans are just an annoyance --- here they are in all their glory !!
Post a Comment