Where is HELL?

In case any of you were wondering about the specific location of the netherworld, I have solved the mystery. Go to Google Earth and type in the following coordinates: 18°27′00″N 66°04′00″W.

Yes, thats right, hell is alive and well in Puerto F-ing Rico!

Do I sound bitter? Perhaps. It's just that I am sitting at the San Juan airport right now when I should be about 10 minutes from touchdown in Philadelphia where I am supposed to attend my daughter Meagan's graduation ceremony this evening. My day started pretty well actually. I got up this am about ridiculous fifteen (5am) so I could get in another quick scanning of my pathology notes, shower, shave, and then rush over to the airport to check in for my 0950 flight. So far so good. Things went smoothly enough. I showed up on time and pretty much prepared for my monster exam this morning. I zipped through the test like...like..like a man who had a plane to catch! I was finished in about 45mins a pretty brisk pace for 75 questions, but I felt pretty good about it. Kathy was outside waiting to rush me off to the airport ala some rock star that just smashed up the stage. I confidently proceeded through security (with my previously obtained boarding pass) and was about to engage in some window shopping to kill time.


Something on the LCD monitors that display flight information appeared quite troubling even from 40 yards away...Red and Flashing are never talismans for GOOD stuff!
CANCELED.....blink...CANCELED ...blink....CANCELED This is where things turned decidedly NOT GOOD.

Today the Fire Rescue brigade decided that their 3 1/2 hour siestas were just too short and unfair. Since airport management wouldn't give in, they went on some sort of strike. So for safety precautions, they were not allowing 'big' planes to land; hence my plane scheduled to take me to Puerto Rico at 9:50 was not even going to be on the island! After some "trying not to be the ugly American despite obvious lack of customer service" diplomacy on my part I was booked on another flight to PR leaving at 12:15 with a connection leaving for Philly at 2:15. It would be just fine, I would make it to the 6:30 ceremony a tad late perhaps but I'd be there to see my baby get her little diploma in her cap and gown YAY!

But alas the aeronautical gods took a substantial sized dump on terra firma and named it Puerto Rico! Upon arrival somewhere around 1:50 we sat on the tarmac for what felt like forever, and then upon finally arriving at our gate*, we waited some more. (and by 'gate' I mean a section of asphalt safely out of the 1.5 mile blast radius for the airport, you know, just in case terrorism should strike! ) The ground crew here make the workers on St. Maarten look like a pack of 8 year olds with ADD and a 4 bar-a-day Hershey's habit!

Needless to say, I missed the 2:15 flight. (interesting side note: this particular flight from SJU to PHL, according to USAir, has a 27% on time record...JUST MY LUCK today they are on time)

I wish this were the end of my sad tale of woe ... but... no (I'm rhyming again hehehe)

I somberly approach the USAir ticketing counter and explain my situation and ask to be booked on the next available flight. The nice man tells me I have to go to the American Airlines counter (which is just about at the other end of the friggin island!) and they have to fix it since they were late. (Pot..Kettle..Black) So I walk, and walk...and.....walk. While I strolled, I made a vow to myself never again to judge too quickly those people I read about in the news who 'thin out the herd' from the top of a bell tower. Now the very friendly, personable, cheery (you smell sarcasm yet?) ticketing agent tells me I have to ......wait for it ........... WALK BACK TO THE US AIR COUNTER!!!!!!

My response (while I don't advocate it as a rule) in this case, was effective: I calmly told her, "Lady , if you tell me to go anywhere else you will wind up having me arrested." I think it was my deadly serious delivery that pushed some evolutionary button of self preservation in the staff , because suddenly they were helpful. Well, helpful in getting me back to Philly 3 hours late; if you consider that sort of thing helpful.

I will finish this tale later.. my flight is FINALLY boarding... now let's hope it doesn't crash.....